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Japan Diary

The Orgasmic Announcer

By June 11, 2020No Comments

Who am I to judge about what goes on behind the scenes of Tokyo train stations? All I know it remains a secret. One can only speculate that it was simply sexual repression needing expression.

During the latter half of the 20th century train station masters across Tokyo were given a very important job, make sure the morning and evening rush hour commuters were safely inside the train before the doors closed. This was not an easy task. Trains were so packed with bodies, briefcases and bags hanging out the doors. The masters had to come up with unique ways to get them tucked back in the train and quick. Over time they perfected a technique called “Tushy Pushing.” And the masters came to be known as “Tushy Pushers.” The technique was simple, place their hands on the asses of commuters pushing hard enough so the doors could close before the next arriving train three minutes later. While I have never witnessed a tushy pusher in action, I know it is true having seen archival video footage on YouTube and of course the unedited photo below.

Imagine the impact on one’s psyche pushing tush day in and day out. Asses of all shapes and sizes all day, week after week, month after month for years on end. Suddenly without warning you are forbidden to stop pushing tush. Why? It was no longer about the safety of commuters and more about getting your grope on. With so many complaints and groping charges brought forth by the now burgeoning female commuter population, the tushy pushing days came to an end resulting in this form of sexual expression receding to the depths of repression.

I have seen a few masters chuckle to themselves, not in an amusing way, rather in madness.

Think about it, for years they were able to express themselves and suddenly it is taken away. Now the only thing you do during an eight hour shift, everyday, day in and day out, year after year is to stand on the platform answering mindless questions about directions and train schedules to tourists and Tokyo nubiles.

With sexual repression firmly ensconced the masters had to find a new way to express. While I cannot say with 100% confidence if anything took place behind closed doors during the repression years, I can say that something new emerged unleashing the decade’s long repression.

Before unveiling my newest finding I would like to release myself of the following words – “While Orgasms are the embodiment of pleasure, I have never had an orgasm in public. But I can image the combination of pleasure and the potential for getting caught must heighten the experience.”

Walking through Shinjuku train station (one of the world’s busiest stations in the world) to catch a train to visit a friend, an English voice over the loudspeaker stood out among all the other announcements in Japanese. I tend to ignore English announcements as I prefer to practice my Japanese listening skills any time I can. Ascending the stairs to the train platform I could no longer ignore this voice. I have been living in Tokyo for well over a decade and stood on this platform countless times and not once did I hear the kind of voice I was hearing in that moment. I could attribute it to the fact that I was usually so lost in thought I never heard her, I had earphones on or she’s a new addition to the platform announcement world. Whatever the reason, this was no ordinary woman and I liked what I was hearing.

What makes her so extraordinary? Simply her unique speaking qualities. I tend to pay attention to voices having studied it during my acting days. I’m drawn to certain voices and repulsed by others. In this case what I heard more than drew me.

I suspect behind those closed doors the masters were creating something to replace the tushy push. Knowing that perverted manhandling, let’s call it what it is would no longer fly in the 21st century they had to come up with a less overt way of expression only the station masters would enjoy. Like Victor Frankenstein piecing together the ultimate human, the train masters of Tokyo combined the announcer’s voice from an amalgam of beautiful voices. Think Ava Gardner’s lushness, Michelle Pfeiffer’s soft inviting voice and Faye Dunaway’s orgasmic lilt.

In a constant state of orgasm while announcing the train station stops, “Ofunaaaa and Kitakama kuraaaa.” It was aural ecstasy. I can only imagine the effect it had on the train masters listening to her day in and day out.

My theory, she was created by the train masters as a way of expressing their sexuality. While they could no longer physically express by pushing those tushies, at the very least they could experience her voice. What they chose to do after hearing her each time is not something I would like to explore.

Let’s enjoy some more aural pleasure together shall we.

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