Something that been on my mind as of late, and notice it in so many areas of my life, is the question, how much of what we do really matters? I don’t mean to downplay this, but our day-to-day actions in life are not that important. And yet we still must do it. I think it is more about being right sized and acting from the heart.
So often I think of the end game of my actions. It doesn’t matter what it is. In particular I was thinking of crypto investing. Let’s say I am wanting to be a wealthy person and think that just because I have taken the risk that it will work out. When in fact it is a risk and I am not in control and it may not work out at all. I have taken the actions, I just need to let go of the results.
This is one such example in which at one point when it was at an all time high I let my emotions get involved and expecting it to go even higher. This was the first time I had truly experienced greed. Emotions get in the way of many things and they are directly tied to the end result. On a grander scale this is all about expectations, not only investing, relationships, but also long term life plans.
More often than not, they never really work out the way I had originally envisioned it. Expectation and envision are bedfellows, with envision being nothing more than a sophisticated way of saying it. Expectations take me out of the moment. I am no longer in the now and look to the future, which in turn causes suffering if it does not turn out the way I envisioned it. And if it does turn out or happens to turn out even better, that emboldens my ego thinking that I can envision all of my life.
Is this a universal or American way of thinking? The sense that I can envision my life and that is what it will be. I am reminded of the show “American Idol” where literally over the run of the show hundreds of thousands auditioned thinking they had the talent because they said they did. Reality said otherwise. That is not to say not to go for it, but do the work, put in the time, take the risks and let go of the results. And knowing in your heart you gave it all and what will be will be. And in the end it will lead you somewhere.
Of course, the struggle with me is that there is the gut, instinct, intuitive or voice we hear. Is that ego, heart, head where does it originate from? How does one discern which voice it is? Does the expectation we want override our instinct? I don’t have an answer.